Influence through Past Behavior

© 2003 by Michelle Lee, http://www.UltimateResourceBarn.com


One very important factor that people often missed out or
discount in the decision making process is that people can
influence you through their past behavior.

We all are aware of how others attempt to influence you
after you present a proposal, or after you announce a
decision. Let's look at how people can influence you before
you make a decision. People come to you "lobbying" you,
especially when you go to them for information. Others
realized that they have more to gain by making you go a
certain way, or decide on an alternative that is more to
their benefit.

What you may not be conscious of is that people can
influence you before you even talk to anyone - while you
are still thinking about a decision.

Suppose in the past, your have been on the receiving end
of aggression from, say, a business partner. You had make
decisions in the past that were not to his liking. Then you
may have a faulty dialogue at work along the line of "I
would really like to make this change, but if I do that, he
will get really annoyed at me. I don't want to upset him
again. I think it will be better if I had taken no action
at present."

Now, what you just witness is that your business partner
does not need to behave aggressively towards you this time
round. You have been influenced through the faulty inner
dialogue you are carrying around as a result of past
experiences you had with him.

Some example of fault inner dialogues.

1. "He will never stand for it. If I go ahead and do it, I
will not be popular. That would be terrible."

2. "Who do they think they are, always trying to override
my decisions? I am in charge, they will do what I decide."

3. "It wouldn't be fair to Alice if I make that change. She
has not say anything but I know she'll be upset."

4. "You can't be liked and get things done in this job. I
am paid to make tough but ugly decisions."


Let's take this discussion a little further. You may also
be held back from making a correct decision by an
"invisible" person. That person is you. You can be
influenced by your own past behavior and faulty inner
dialogues.

Suppose you want to make a change to the pricing structure
of the product or service you are selling. After thorough
market study, running through all the statistics you can
lay your hands on, gathering all the facts, you come up
with a new strategy. Before you make the decision, you
think through every possible scenarios.

Now, let's review what are some possible faulty inner 
dialogues that results from your own past experience.

1. "It won't work. The last time I offer a new pricing
package, it did not work. What if sales did not pick up? I
still have all that fix expenses to pay for. "

2. "The other partners will not go for it. The new less
expensive but more affordable structure means less money
for every one. They are against my suggestion the last time
and they will vote againt this."

You end up not implementing your new marketing plan. You
did not even bring up the topic to the other partners.


Past behavior of people around you, especially if they are
stake holders, can influence you to react aggressively or
submissively. The correct approach to dealing with such
situations is to be assertive.

You have also seen how your past emotional baggage can
affect you in your decision making. This baggages results
in faulty inner dialogues. Be aware of your thinking
process. Once you are conscious of the unconscious self
talking in your head, you will be able to influence others
assertively and positively.


© 2003 by Michelle Lee

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