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Influence through Past Behavior © 2003 by Michelle Lee, http://www.UltimateResourceBarn.com ----------------------------------------------------------- One very important factor that people often missed out or discount in the decision making process is that people can influence you through their past behavior. We all are aware of how others attempt to influence you after you present a proposal, or after you announce a decision. Let's look at how people can influence you before you make a decision. People come to you "lobbying" you, especially when you go to them for information. Others realized that they have more to gain by making you go a certain way, or decide on an alternative that is more to their benefit. What you may not be conscious of is that people can influence you before you even talk to anyone - while you are still thinking about a decision. Suppose in the past, your have been on the receiving end of aggression from, say, a business partner. You had make decisions in the past that were not to his liking. Then you may have a faulty dialogue at work along the line of "I would really like to make this change, but if I do that, he will get really annoyed at me. I don't want to upset him again. I think it will be better if I had taken no action at present." Now, what you just witness is that your business partner does not need to behave aggressively towards you this time round. You have been influenced through the faulty inner dialogue you are carrying around as a result of past experiences you had with him. Some example of fault inner dialogues. 1. "He will never stand for it. If I go ahead and do it, I will not be popular. That would be terrible." 2. "Who do they think they are, always trying to override my decisions? I am in charge, they will do what I decide." 3. "It wouldn't be fair to Alice if I make that change. She has not say anything but I know she'll be upset." 4. "You can't be liked and get things done in this job. I am paid to make tough but ugly decisions." Let's take this discussion a little further. You may also be held back from making a correct decision by an "invisible" person. That person is you. You can be influenced by your own past behavior and faulty inner dialogues. Suppose you want to make a change to the pricing structure of the product or service you are selling. After thorough market study, running through all the statistics you can lay your hands on, gathering all the facts, you come up with a new strategy. Before you make the decision, you think through every possible scenarios. Now, let's review what are some possible faulty inner dialogues that results from your own past experience. 1. "It won't work. The last time I offer a new pricing package, it did not work. What if sales did not pick up? I still have all that fix expenses to pay for. " 2. "The other partners will not go for it. The new less expensive but more affordable structure means less money for every one. They are against my suggestion the last time and they will vote againt this." You end up not implementing your new marketing plan. You did not even bring up the topic to the other partners. Past behavior of people around you, especially if they are stake holders, can influence you to react aggressively or submissively. The correct approach to dealing with such situations is to be assertive. You have also seen how your past emotional baggage can affect you in your decision making. This baggages results in faulty inner dialogues. Be aware of your thinking process. Once you are conscious of the unconscious self talking in your head, you will be able to influence others assertively and positively. © 2003 by Michelle Lee ----------------------------------------------------------- Michelle Lee is the publisher of the @UltimateResourceBarn Newsletter and owner of the ezine website http://www.UltimateResourceBarn.com . Both the website and newsletter are jam-packed with Informative Articles, Tons of Resources & Tools, Ready To Use Tips & Tricks, Proven Internet Marketing Concepts, Affiliate Programs & more. Claim your FREE eBooks + 1 FREE Ad view by over 10,000! mailto:subscribe@UltimateResourceBarn.com?subject=artclsub ----------------------------------------------------------- If you wish to publish this article in your own ezine or newsletter, you are most welcome to do so. However, please publish this article as it is. No modification, alternation should be made to the content of this article, including the resource box.
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